There was a time when most middle-class parents wanted their kids to be either doctors or engineers. For a few progressive minded parents, 'MBA' was a magic word. I'm not sure about the other parts of the country, but in the one where I grew up, children were literally branded and prepared to become doctors or engineers. The respect that seemingly came with these professions had such a nasty impact on the kids, that some of their childhood has been completely sacrificed in the process of decking them up. Now, I'm not telling you anything that's new. And you may argue that these things don't happen anymore. But I had a shocking discovery when I went to my native town to celebrate my son's first birthday in May this year.
A cousin of mine, a girl of 16, has just written her Class-10 board exams. Two days after the last day of the exam, she started going to private tuition. When I asked her what these classes were for, I was told that they were for her Plus-2 studies. Apparently, engineering was such a sought after field, that these set of tutors (private, mind you) were overbooked every year and if she wouldn't start her classes early, she would not get a berth. When I asked her, how did she know that she would even pass her board exams, she replied casually, "if I don't pass, I'm better off dead."
Perhaps in a fit of scientific miracle, or perhaps by some higher entity, this world was created with vast opportunities. We, as intelligent species, have been endowed with the power to live our life to the fullest in beautiful little ways that serve us best. At 16, girls fall in love. At 16, they discover the beauties of the world. At 16, a girl isn't better off dead because she could not pass an examination. There are higher tests in this world, which she will have to take. The test of motherhood, the test of ethical dilemmas, the test of choosing between right and wrong, the test of sacrifice. The matriculation exam is quite insignificant as compared to these tests. My wrath is not so much over the girl. My angst is against her parents and teachers. Someone or the other must have giver her this idea. Who was it? I'll never know. But I do know that whoever that person was, he is a criminal of the highest order.
Clenching my teeth, when I asked my cousin as to why she had to wake up at 5am in the morning and go to her private tuition, she said this, and I quote - "Sir takes three batches. The he goes to school. The third batch in the morning would have been good, but then he is usually unmindful with that batch. He rushes things, because he has to get ready for school. At dawn, his mind is fresh and he teaches well too." When I told her why she needed private classes in the first place, she said, "if I don't write Sir's notes, he won't give me marks."
I was very saddened that day. Because no dictum, no law, no rule can stop a human being from being base. It can at best try and dissuade one from being so. But as my father once had told me, all laws in the world are founded on the basic principle, that all human beings are fundamentally good. Schools exist to impart education. Their job is very important. They are like the masons who lay the first bricks of a skyscraper. Now, for whatever reasons, the teacher in question was clearly not doing his job at work. Moreover, he had created a threatening situation for even those kids who do not have to rely on a class lecture for education. He simply wouldn't give them passing marks, even if they write all the right answers. Let's stoop lower. Even at home, where he is taking money from students to impart education in the form of one-size-fits-all notes, he becomes unmindful because he has to shave and get ready for school, where he is not doing his job anyway.
I spoke to the girl's parents. They said, "What can we do? This is how it is here. If she doesn't get good marks, no good school will take her. How will she pass her engineering entrance exams?"
So, I told them about some of the best people I have known, who received education, not "NOTES". Some of these people were brilliant in studies, some were not. But all of them, without exception, are happy. I told them about my friend Anupam, who never stood first in class, but has a wonderful job today. There's my friend Bappa, who could never pay attention in class, but was very good at reading books. He is doing very well for himself today. My friend Niraj, who had utter disrespect for conventional forms of education has opened up a company and is doing groundbreaking work on email collaboration today. My friend Anirban and Nidhi run an organization which helps budding entrepreneurs achieve their dreams. My friend Vikash runs a successful online library and bookstore. My friend Abhishek is a successful playwright and director. What's also important to remember is that not all of these folks have succeeded in the first place. I remember reading a heart-wrenching email from a friend of mine who set up an industrial unit, which failed. But he took up an alternate career option, and today, when I look at his picture with his wife and kid, he looks very happy. My friend Chanchal, who I can write an entire book about, was never to conform to norms. Everyone thought that he was good for nothing. Chanchal is a chef at the Ritz in Toronto today. I can go on and on and on. I have realized one thing, off late - in life, we may have chains around our legs, but those chains are never locked. If you have courage, if you are passionate about something, if you think you are good at something, you will find a way to take off those chains and live life happily. For the rest of the days that I stayed in my native town, I tried my best to drive this message into my cousin's and her parents' minds. I don't know if that'll help, but I tried. Perhaps, a day will soon come, when sitting happy somewhere, my cousin will reflect back at what she told me that day and laugh out loud. And how I wish that that day her "Sir" (noun - used as a respectful way of addressing a man - Oxford English Dictionary) could hear her laughter.
